Find Chuck Norris? Not on Google, you won't.

Chuck Norris has more Facebook friends than you do. Chuck Norris wrestles with bears (see video below). Chuck Norris is a hunter. Chuck Norris is never taken by surprise. And Chuck Norris knows exactly where you are, every second of the day.

Don't believe us? Try this. Navigate over to Google. In the search field, type the following phrase: "Google Chuck Norris."

But instead of hitting the search key, try the button that reads, "I'm feeling lucky." Google will tell you that no standard web results were found. It will also tell you, in bright red font, that "Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you."

It's true, folks. Chuck Norris is a master of the 21st century digital landscape. No obstacle is too high. Chuck Norris, for instance, has over 5 million fans on Facebook. That puts him in the upper echelons of Facebook’s superstar culture. How many Facebook friends do you have?

Chuck is also a master of modern politics. Last month, Chuck Norris told true American patriots that they should proudly fly the flag dip their flag in warm tea. Take down that regular old American flag, Chuck Norris said – it's no longer bold enough for these troubled times.

Instead, “post the 13-star Betsy Ross flag, Navy Jack or Gadsden flag (’Don’t Tread on Me’) or any representation that tells the story of Old Glory and makes a stand for our Founders’ vision of America," Chuck Norris wrote.

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