Female Influx

A CRISIS is apparently going to strike the male population of the United States in the 1990s. I have just recently caught up with a speech made months ago at the University of Missouri by that eminent troublemaker, Dr. Joyce Brothers. She predicts that the next decade will be the decade of the ``she-generation,'' the implications of which are simply too horrible to contemplate.

As everyone knows, Dr. Brothers is the voice of authority for the 20th century, and nothing very important is done in the world today without her advice - if not actual consent. So in her infinite academic wisdom she has announced there will be fewer women over the next 10 years. It generally follows that when a product becomes more scarce, it tends to increase in value, which means women are going to be worth more in the years to come.

The statistics being bandied about come down to a surplus of 105 men for every 100 women, so it looks as if men are going to be bumping into each other climbing balconies.

Since no one I have ever known has challenged the wisdom of Dr. Brothers, I have assumed that all of this would come to pass and that there might be a widespread panic among the generally chauvinistic males of my acquaintance. However, except for one or two hiding in the locker room of the Harvard Club, there seems to be no great change in male attitudes.

One friend, after investigating life in a Buddhist monastery, has come to the conclusion that none of these predictions will come to pass. But I'm not so sure. As far as I know, Dr. Brothers has never been wrong.