Questions that should precede 'Will you marry me?'

May 8, 2002

In his book, "Don't You Dare Get Married Until You Read This!" Corey Donaldson suggests more than 500 questions in 11 categories that could spark frank discussion for couples in a serious relationship. They were culled from interviews with 1,500 people – single, married, and divorced – with varying degrees of contentment. Some examples:

• If we eliminated physical attraction from our relationship, what would be left?

• What is your attitude toward people with religious beliefs that differ from yours?

• What does monogamy mean to you?

• If I talked to your ex(es), what warnings would they give me about you?

• What do you fear?

• Have you ever thought that you should marry me because if you don't, no one else will come along, and you will be lonely for the rest of your life?

• Do you feel the need to maintain relationships with your past boyfriends/girlfriends? Why or why not? If these relationships made me feel uncomfortable, would you end them for me?

• How did your family resolve conflicts when you were growing up? Do you approve or disapprove of that method?

• What does my family do that annoys you?

• Is there anything about the discussion of feelings that makes you uncomfortable?

• What are all your current debts?

• Are your feelings for me dependent on my always having money?

• What makes you think we are right for each other?

• How long do you want to wait before having children?