When you're wrongfully blamed

It’s never fun to feel like a victim of unwarranted blame. But as a woman experienced as she prayed about problematic interactions with two people she was close to, recognizing everyone’s God-given ability to express integrity and purity brings healing light to such situations.

December 1, 2021

I recall an incident in my kid years when my parents made me call the neighbors to apologize for speaking rudely to an elderly member of their family. When I did, a weight dropped off me. Freedom and strength came with being accountable for what I did.

Of course, that was not the last time I had to shoulder my own blame (so to speak) for something I shouldn’t have said or done. But what happens if we’re singled out to bear the brunt of blame for someone else’s incorrect thinking or actions?

This concept is sometimes referred to as “scapegoating.” It comes from a ritual in biblical times when a goat would be sent out into the wilderness with all the sins and impurities of the community upon its head, symbolically speaking. Although this practice sounds strange today, shifting accountability for one’s own misguided actions onto others still happens.

I’ve found the Bible to be a guiding light to discovering that we are not helpless if we find ourselves burdened with unfounded blame. The life and teachings of Christ Jesus illustrate that God, who is divine Spirit and Love, is completely good. Because we are the children of God, our true heritage is spiritual – one of peace, loveliness, and harmony. God knows each of us as the unique expression of Himself: spiritually innocent and free from evil and wrong.

Mary Baker Eddy, a follower of Jesus and the founder of this news organization, wrote in “Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures,” “Remember that man’s perfection is real and unimpeachable, whereas imperfection is blameworthy, unreal, and is not brought about by divine Love” (p. 414). True innocence is spiritual, with the power of God behind it – a strength, not a weakness. The more we strive to keep our own thoughts and actions in conformity with our true spiritual nature as blameless before God, the more equipped we are to respond to undue blame in ways that foster healing.

Some years ago, I experienced something of this. When issues would come up between two people I was close to, one of them would explode in anger. The anger always seemed to shift to me, as though the explosion would never have happened if I hadn’t been there. At these moments, there was never anything to point to any wrongful action on my part, so I felt as helpless as a goat sent to the wilderness.

But feeling powerless was not in line with something I’d come to realize through my practice of Christian Science over the years: that prayer reveals the possibilities of God’s infinite goodness, which heals all kinds of situations.

I saw that just knowing that I had done nothing to deserve blame wasn’t enough. When I left it at that, self-justification turned into blaming another for blaming me! I knew that growing in my understanding of everyone’s inherent innocence before God could open the way to healing.

Can Syria heal? For many, Step 1 is learning the difficult truth.

Holding to powerful spiritual facts during these challenging moments helped me to cast out self-justification and condemnation – thinking that doesn’t originate from God, good. I began to accept the purity of all of us as one with divine Love.

And the situation began to improve. It was no small thing to me when the incidents ultimately subsided, but what I learned about everyone’s inherent spiritual innocence was immeasurable.

We all have what it takes to respond to unwarranted blame with the honest recognition and honoring of everyone’s pure innocence and goodness as the reflection of God’s pure love. This brings healing solutions that bless all involved.