Separating the mistake from the person
The more we understand of our unity with God, good, the better equipped we are to support reformation and redemption and to move forward with freedom.
The night before my first real job interview, having traveled to a different city and been given a food allowance for dinner, I ate way too much, fell asleep without setting an alarm, and slept through my early morning appointment with the board chairperson who would be conducting the interview. I ran from the hotel to the meeting place, rumpled and flustered, with negative thoughts about myself stampeding around in my thinking.
Surprisingly, I found that the chairperson was still willing to see me. She explained that her willingness came from making a distinction between my mistake and my true identity – who God knew me to be. She began the interview by relating how her sister had done the same for her once, separating a significant mistake she had made from the person her sister knew her to be as God’s child.
I so deeply wanted to learn to see myself and others the way this woman was seeing me – through a more spiritual lens rather than through the lens of flawed human thoughts, words, and actions. This experience showed me that in any situation – in traffic, at a school board meeting, when things are tough in a relationship, anywhere – we have the God-given ability to see others’ divinely created nature, rather than dwelling on human flaws.
It was a poignant moment for me, and it was especially liberating to feel what it’s like to be on the receiving end of that kind of prayer-based perspective. Throughout his ministry, Christ Jesus modeled this kind of insight. In one instance, an angry group of men brought to Jesus a woman who had been caught in adultery, and they wanted to see if he approved of her being stoned, as the law required. But his spiritual understanding reframed the situation, offering an opportunity for the woman to move forward in a new way in her life (see John 8:1-11).
How exactly does God see us, and how can we see everyone in this light? It begins with recognizing the goodness of God and acknowledging that God’s creation, including each one of us, is a reflection of that goodness. In answer to the question “What is man?” in “Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures,” Mary Baker Eddy, the discoverer of Christian Science, wrote, “The Scriptures inform us that man is made in the image and likeness of God.... Man is spiritual and perfect;... He is ... that which has not a single quality underived from Deity” (p. 475).
To me, “not a single quality underived from Deity” means that our innocence is innate and forever intact. We’re not a mix of good and bad, of doing right and making mistakes, of spiritual and material. As God’s spiritual offpsring, we are wholly good. A mistake-riddled mortal is an inaccurate view of man. This understanding gives ourselves and others a safe passage from being limited by mistakes to realizing a fuller expression of everyone’s true, spiritual identity – of our wholeness and unity with God.
This is not about letting wrong behavior continue, but it means looking beyond the events that have transpired or hurtful words that have been said, and asking, “God, what do You know of this situation or person?” As we listen for what God knows of their true identity, worth, and purity, we are able to move forward by nurturing reformation.
Making the separation between mistakes and who we really are as God’s spiritual offspring is about seeing the harmony of spiritual identity that transcends human personality and the dramas of the moment. This heals discord. Practicing this separation is a gift of freedom to others and to ourselves.