Giving up the gossip habit
When we’re willing to yield to what God knows about His children, the pull to gossip falls away and opportunities for healing unfold.
I recently came across this interpretation of a Bible verse, which shed new light on some familiar words: “A word out of your mouth may seem of no account, but it can accomplish nearly anything – or destroy it!” (James 3:5, Eugene Peterson, “The Message”).
This verse became especially meaningful to me when I realized gossip had been slipping into my daily interactions with co-workers, friends, and family. I began to pray in earnest to let go of the temptation to gossip and to be led to better conversations.
I had learned through my study of Christian Science that each of us is a child of God, and as God’s children, we express His qualities. This was a good starting point. We are created to express only qualities such as love, goodness, and honesty.
“Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures” by Mary Baker Eddy has this helpful statement: “People with mental work before them have no time for gossip about false law or testimony” (p. 238). I saw that this “mental work,” or prayer, would be a much better use of my time than gossiping. I began to examine my daily communications. How was I participating on social media? What was I bringing to all my interactions with others?
I looked to recognize thoughts and communications that weren’t from God, who is divine Love, and replace these with the truth about myself and everyone. I listened for the Christ message from God, which voices to human consciousness the truth of our nature as entirely spiritual, loving, and productive.
There’s a story in the Gospel of Luke that illustrates the difference this makes and serves as a helpful example of rising above gossip. It’s about Christ Jesus and a man named Zacchaeus, who was the chief tax collector. The talk among the people was that Zacchaeus was dishonest and extorted people.
Yet despite the murmuring of the people, Jesus perceived Zacchaeus’ true nature, and called him over. During their encounter, Zacchaeus explained, “Behold, Lord, the half of my goods I give to the poor; and if I have taken any thing from any man by false accusation, I restore him fourfold” (see Luke 19:1-10).
I longed to more fully express the Christlike love that would enable me to refrain from gossip and to see what was needed to bring about healing. The thought came to me that good and healing can’t be accomplished if I’m wrapped up in gossiping about the lives of others – especially rumors that might not even be true. How would I hear what God had to say?
My desire for healing led me to contact a Christian Science practitioner, who shared with me the idea of asking myself, “Is my conversation about this person going to help me love them better? Is what I am about to share going to help me see the true child of God as Jesus saw others?”
I worked each day to be more aware of what I was listening to and what I was saying. Two citations from the Bible became daily prayers and guides in my conversations: the Ninth Commandment – “Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour” (Exodus 20:16) – and “Set a watch, O Lord, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips” (Psalms 141:3). I looked for ways to let God, divine Love, speak for me. It was challenging at times, and there were times when I stumbled, but each day I gained new insights and was led to better conversations.
The real fruit of my prayers came when I started a summer job, and I quickly realized gossip was rampant in the workplace. I decided I didn’t need to fear the gossip; instead, this could be an opportunity to put into practice what I had been praying about.
One co-worker in particular regularly gossiped about the employees and customers. He even said nasty and untrue things about me when we worked together. I prayed daily to see that he, too, was capable of expressing the spiritual qualities of goodness and honesty, just like I was.
It was tough, and at first I just tried avoiding him. But the thought came that I could better express the love that Jesus taught and demonstrated. I kept praying, and my thinking about this person shifted from dislike and dread to compassion. Soon we began working different shifts, and I saw him less. However, when we did interact, he didn’t make any more unkind comments about co-workers, customers, or me.
Every day, we can strive to lift our thoughts above gossip and opinions to a more expansive love. Then our communications will naturally and joyfully be filled with inspiration and love.