Mother's Day 2012. What moms really want. Really?

Mother's Day 2012: The Internet will tell you "what moms really want"  – but don't believe it. CorningWare or a nice breast pump, or even a diamond are not it.

It’s the countdown to Mother’s Day 2012. And as a relatively new mom (this is only my second Mother’s Day, and during the first one I was too sleep deprived to notice anything) I’m wondering what one actually does on this holiday. From Position Mommy.

“Well what do you want to do?” asked my sweet husband.

I looked at him blankly and shrugged.  Sleep?  Actually read the newspaper in dead tree form?  Go outside and hang out with my fam?

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I didn’t feel particularly inspired.

But luckily, even if I don’t know what I want for Mother’s Day, there have been plenty of email advertisements flooding my inbox this week with some suggestions.

Amazon.com might be the winner.  Its e-mail came early in the morning – one of the first things I saw pre-latte – and its title caught my eye.

“Stephanie: What Moms Really Want,” it beckoned.

Excellent.

So I clicked. 

And the answer... 

I swear I am not making this up, but the answer is apparently a vacuum cleaner. Really. That’s the main thing advertised on the site; the top item that Moms Really Want this Mother’s Day. 

But don’t worry, there are other items on the “ultimate gift guide: what Moms really want for Mother’s Day.”

There’s a laptop ... that’s pink. There’s some CorningWare, Pyrex dishes, a sewing machine, and a “cake decorating” category that is illustrated by a pretty pastel pile of cupcakes.  (I am guessing that the point of this latter image is not that Moms Really Want cupcakes for Mother’s Day, although that actually sounds like a great idea.)

Anyhow ...  what’s up with this?  I mean, I admit, I’m all for a good cooking and cleaning product now and then. Photograph it Real Simple style and I’m sold. But really? What year is it?

The list continued. 

Diamond stud earrings are what Moms Really Want, too.  Well, sure.

And then there’s the pièce de résistance.

On the Amazon “what Moms really want” Mother’s Day list is ...  a breast pump. 

Seriously.

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OK. A little piece of advice to the dads out there. Do not get your wife a breast pump for Mother’s Day. Trust me.

Worst. Idea. Ever.

So I am back to Square 1. And honestly, that’s OK. Because even if I'm still trying to decide what Mother's Day will mean for me, I know what I do want this year: my beautiful baby girl and her daddy.

And you can’t get that online.