Mila Kunis advice to expectant dads – what would you say?

Mila Kunis appeared on 'Jimmy Kimmel Live' on Tuesday to clear the air about what dads-to-be shouldn't say. The only problem is, what should they say instead?

Mila Kunis arrives at Los Angeles premiere of 'Third Person' on June 9, in Los Angeles.

Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP

June 12, 2014

Mila Kunis appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live on Tuesday night, and she is pregnant with her first child and ready to share advice with expectant fathers.

True to many schticks on Mr. Kimmel’s show, he threw out a line ripe for Ms. Kunis to respond to, sharing with her that he and his wife are expecting a child.  

Ms. Kunis then launched into her own monologue, shushing the late-night host as she took center stage and announcing to soon-to-be-dads, “Stop saying, ‘We’re pregnant.’”

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She continued, with thoughtful acoustic background music from the band, to go into some of the more female-centric parts of parenting and their unpleasantness, plus some more of the stereotypical assumptions of dads.

By the end of her rant, she was flanked by other pregnant moms, ice cream in-hand, who all announce “We are pregnant,” before her side-mom hands her a pint of ice cream.

The bit is funny, and points out those dads who are eager to share the pre-baby experience of parenting. And I agree, "We're pregnant" is funny, and sometimes awkward, especially in some of the more trying times of pregnancy.

But, there aren’t many options out there. Let’s look at a few of the alternatives that a soon-to-be dad could say:

“She’s pregnant.” 

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The strength in this phrase is all in the delivery. This could sound like a prison sentence and/or a blunt statement of fact that crosses easily into terms you might use for cattle. Yes, pregnancy is part of the circle of life, but if my husband bluntly said, “She’s pregnant,” I might not be any more impressed that he singled me out.

“She’s expecting.”

Expecting what? While this is potentially one of my more preferred statements from an expectant father, it leaves too much out in the open to question. Unless someone is ready to explain the when, why, where, and how of the matter, best to leave this tabled. Because there are always those who ask about the when, where, why, and how of the matter.

“She’s with-child.” 

No. Just no. This is dated and dangerously close to having any well-intentioned father-to-be have something thrown at him. 

“She’s having my baby.”  

This statement can be used only if the expectant father is willing to belt out Paul Anka’s ballad “You’re Having My Baby” every single time it is said. No exceptions.

So dads-to-be, what do you say when everything seems to be wrong? How about turning to the soon-to-be mom and saying, “I love you, you’re beautiful, and you’re going to make a wonderful mom.”