Sarah Palin bus tour: Why won't she say where she's going?

Sarah Palin is planning a bus tour to visit historical and cultural East Coast sights during Memorial Day weekend, but she hasn't said which ones or when she'll be there.

Sarah Palin announced Friday on the website of her political action committee that she’s going on a bus tour of the US East Coast this weekend, starting in Washington and winding up towards New England.

The point of the tour will be to "appreciate the significance of our nation's historic sites, patriotic events, and diverse cultures," said the trip announcement.

What Ms. Palin didn’t say is exactly where she’s going. The map of stops that was posted on the trip’s web page was blank. Why the secrecy?

Maybe it’s a plan to build attention and publicity for the tour, which comes as speculation about a possible Palin presidential run ramps up. Maybe it’s a way to keep the lamestream media from getting ahead of her and doing dangerous unscripted interviews with supporters. Or maybe it’s because somebody on her staff knows enough about East Coast holiday traffic to realize that you can’t plan where you’re going because you may have to take lengthy unscheduled detours.

That’s right – the highways she’ll be traversing are more than likely to be a scheduler’s nightmare. The Delaware section of I-95? The New Jersey Turnpike? The “One Nation” tour bus will be idling so long that the ex-governor of Alaska will have time to disembark and film a new reality show while she’s waiting. You could call it “Sarah Palin’s Vince Lombardi Rest Stop.”

(See, she had a show called “Sarah Palin’s Alaska”, and there really is a Vince Lombardi Rest Stop on the Jersey Turnpike, since he was a famous state native.... OK, maybe it’s a stretch.)

One last thought on the traffic. A lot of it is caused by construction projects paid for by President Obama’s stimulus act. Palin might be able to get spin that into a political talking point, somehow.

Anyway, we’re not sure of the bus’s route. Presumably she won’t be starting at the White House, although it would be fun if she did. We’re thinking she may begin colonial, with Mount Vernon. George Washington is always good political symbolism.

According to Politico, Palin will visit with attendees to the Rolling Thunder motorcycle rally in the DC area, then travel to Civil War battlefields Gettysburg and Antietam. We’d lay money she’ll go to Philadelphia next, to see the Liberty Bell and Independence Hall. After that, who knows? Maybe she’ll take in a Mets game.

In New England, the Lexington and Concord battlefields might be good. But her driver should be careful – one wrong turn in Boston and the next thing you know, your bus is stuck at the John F. Kennedy Presidential Library. That wouldn’t be a good photo op.

We’re sure more details will leak out in coming hours. Until then, here are three historic East Coast locations places we’re pretty sure Palin will give a miss:

MONTICELLO. A great setting and a fabulous iconic building, but Thomas Jefferson did help found the Democratic Party.

HYDE PARK. FDR’s home. Another Democrat. Invented tax-and-spend.

HARVARD. Too many pointy-headed lefties. They have a hockey team, though.