Reds

Dr. Edmund F. Draecker would have to sound like comedian in his sauerbraten professor accent. Imagine Draecker/Caesar announcing that West Germany had raised its national flag over a ''great big lump of ice'' in the Antarctic, as a West German paper reported April 1.

But readers across the Berlin Wall weren't amused. Note an East German foreign affairs weekly's recent sober denunciation of Dr. Draecker's claim as taking advantage of a deficiency in the Antarctica Treaty.

Trouble is those commies would rather be red than smart - and, ach, their faces sure are now. The West German paper was only April fooling. Dr. Draecker , a well-known but nonexistent diplomat, was evidently just too too Teutonic for Germans whose funny bone must have been swept under the Soviet rug.