Giving our children mixed messages

At age 3: ''You ask too many questions! Stop chattering, I'm busy.'' At age 4 ''Of course you want to take swimming lessons. All your friends are going to.'' At age 5: ''This is the kind of shoes all the other little girls will be wearing to kinder- garten." At age 6: ''Don't act like such a baby. When are you going to grow up?'' At age 7: ''Its too nice a day to stay inside. Why don't don't you go outside and play with your friends?'' At age 8: ''Don't just sit there day- dreaming and starting off into space. Find something to do.'' At age 13: ''Why are you so uncommunicative? You never talk to me.'' At age 14: ''Why do you think you have to everything your friends do?'' At age 15: ''Why do you have to dress just like everyone else?'' At age 16: ''Why are you in such a hurry to grow up?'' Age age 17: '' Why don't you stay home? You're always out running around with your friends!'' At age 18: ''You never take time to think things through -- always out doing something. Why don't you use your head once in a while?''