The Reagan bust

If anyone has been yearning for a 14-inch porcelain bust of President Reagan for Christmas, his wish can be fulfilled. The bust is done with a cowboy shirt and what should pass for a realistic, movielike Technicolor. It sells for $3,000 , which proves times are getting better.

This tempting item, as well as other ''historic and heirloom quality merchandise,'' is available in the new GOP gift catalog, a 16-page booklet called ''The Official Republican Collection.'' If you have not received one, you are probably on the wrong list.

Prices seem to run a bit high, but with Christmas coming on this is no time to cater to a depressed economy. Undoubtedly there are thousands of people who would like to have a porcelain bust of President Reagan in a cowboy shirt, but who simply do not have a place to put it. Its size of 14 inches makes it too large for a paperweight but too small to go on top of the fountain in the flower garden or at the shallow end of the swimming pool. We measured our birdbath but decided a porcelain Reagan would be inappropriate, since at present we have a cement turtle.

At the time this is written only one porcelain bust has been sold. Maybe it was ordered by someone in the White House, we aren't sure. As far as we know, there is no bust of Nancy, which is too bad because two such items might be more useful. There must be any number of California Republicans who could use some $6 ,000 bookends. Also there is no bust of the vice-president. Probably people wouldn't know who it was.

There are other, more costly items. A limited edition collection of engraved portraits of all the presidents, bound in leather, sells for $20,000. This would inevitably include some Democratic presidents and since there are 40 presidents in all, one would be paying $500 apiece. That means an engraved Ronald Reagan is going for the same price as a Harry Truman, which boggles the mind; unless, of course, the engraving of Harry Truman could pass for John Wayne.