Realtorspeak

ONE of the educational advantages of house hunting is the opportunity to learn Realtorspeak. Like Pentagonese and Educationese, Realtorspeak is a distinct subgroup of the English language -- at least, of that part of English still spoken in the Colonies. Like lethargic neutrons bombarded by runaway electrons, home buyers are assaulted by realtor-launched terms like ``curb appeal,'' ``rough-ins,'' and ``Fizzbo.''

Curb appeal is fairly easy. It refers to how attractive a house looks when you drive up to the curb.

Rough-ins is a little harder. It means the rudimentary water, sewer, and electrical connections in one section of an unfinished basement. All you need are appliances, a fat bankroll, and a two-week lease on a plumber to turn them into a functioning bathroom or laundry room.

And Fizzbo?

It's a graduate-level acronym. Loosely translated, it stands for intrepid homeowners who try to sell their abodes with ads that read: For Sale By Owner.