Hodgepodge dilly-dally. Dear Sir and Madam:

I have heard via trumpetvine that you have an opening for a young trunk-circler high in a hollow tree. I have the happiness to apply for the post. I am a recent graduate of the School of Hard Knocks. I am known for my head-on approach to the business which seems to come to me naturally. My application to the task is from sunup to sundown. My credentials are impeccable. Though I flicker from tree to tree, I am not a flighty bird. I plan to drop by later in the week for a t^ete-`a-t^ete and a rat-tat-tat, to let you judge firsthand of my skills. May I subscribe myself Hopefully Yours,

Woodpecker in Residence