Abandoned by the networks

I feel a little ... abandoned. I'm shortly to move out of the demographic that TV cares about. You see, it's not just viewers networks want; it's viewers of a certain youthful kind. I'm being offered reruns of "Murder, She Wrote," "Matlock," and "Lawrence Welk." Prime time is through with me.

Over on cable, at least, I'm gaining a channel. Long ago, teen-oriented MTV yielded VH1 for young professionals. Now a new cable channel debuting later this month will try to capture the interest of seemingly ever-more-ancient baby boomers.

VH1 Classic aims to appeal to viewers who can remember when songs by the Beatles, Rolling Stones, and Motown were shiny new, not "classic rock." Maybe they'll reveal the words to The Kingsmen's "Louis, Louis"?

Meanwhile, the world's most famous baby boomer showed at a White House dinner last weekend that his next job may be as a stand-up comedian. A video sendup of President Clinton's supposed lonely days as a lame duck, starring the president himself, and televised by C-Span, brought an ovation. The hilarious (but perhaps a bit demeaning?) video is available online at c-span.org/executive (look in the right-hand column under "White House Correspondent's Association Annual Dinner," 04/29/00).

Think you're safe from pop culture and video ads at the ATM? Well ... no. Wells Fargo Bank says it's introducing an ATM that will serve up movie previews, advertisements, and news headlines along with cash. "Gladiator" is now playing. One more reason to take the money ... and run.

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