"Though I have the voice of an eleven-year-old girl, I have no natural rapport with children," Kaling wrote. "I'm not one of those women who melts when a baby enters the room and immediately knows all the right age-specific questions to ask.... I'm the one who looks at the infant, smiles nervously, and as my contribution to small talk, robotically announces to the parent, 'Your child looks healthy and well cared for.' "