For the grating little habits of the person in the next cubicle, Galanes suggests putting the problem on yourself. "In the calmest voice possible, say, 'You know, I have no right to ask, but you could you stop [INSERT HIDEOUS HABIT HERE]?' " he writes. "Then add, with a big smile, 'For some reason, it's really getting under my skin!'... .You avoid defensiveness and even the prospect that there's something to be defensive about."