Skip to footer

What to do if you’re feeling lonely

When it seemed like there would be no end to her loneliness, a woman initially felt overwhelmed and anxious. But a surprising realization about the nature of God as Love completely changed her state of mind.

  • By Lizzie Witney

Christian Science Perspective audio edition
Loading the player...

I’m not sure how much more I can take. It had been almost a week since I’d seen anyone, and the isolation was really starting to get to me. Worse, because I work alone from home and my friends live far away, this state of things was my “normal.”

When I’d start to think about the days and months ahead, filled with more hours alone, I was overwhelmed with dread and anxiety. It felt like a life of isolation was mapped out ahead of me, and I couldn’t see a way out.

But one day, as I was grappling with these feelings, I had a realization. While all the things that companionship represents – love, joy, union, support – seem to come from people, they really come right from God.

This realization was based on what I’d learned from reading the Bible: that “God is love” (I John 4:8). From studying Christian Science, I’d also learned that Love, God, is infinite – the source of all real love. So while each of us does express love, this love isn’t sourced in us or our friends and family, but in God. Love actually transcends time and space and any other limitations – like whether or not we’re with people who care about us.

This brought me the most relief I’d felt in a long time. I was starting to see some light in what had felt like a very dark situation. It also occurred to me that since God is always present, love, joy, support, and so on must also always be present. These qualities had always been with me, and always would be.

I stopped being angry about the situation, which meant that right away I was more receptive to God’s love. I also started to feel more peaceful about the long hours I’d be spending alone. The feeling of loneliness eased.

I realized that a tangible expression of the love I was newly perceiving was also natural. I didn’t have to outline what it would look like. But I could be ready to hear God’s guidance, and in the meantime, I also felt confident that I could enjoy each day.

Even though my schedule hadn’t changed, over the next few days, I had a renewed feeling of enthusiasm for each day, and I no longer felt so alone.

The following weekend, I woke up with the thought that I should go get a cat from a local rescue shelter. The message was super clear – almost as if it would be silly not to go and get one! Misty has been a tangible expression of companionship that I hadn’t thought would be possible. And loving her has given me a new appreciation for the way our love for others also helps us feel loved and less alone.

Shortly after I adopted Misty, I also felt inspired to get a membership at a different gym. While I’d been mostly alone at my old gym, at the new one, I found it easy to make friends.

While I’m so grateful for these tangible expressions of God’s love in my life, the thing that’s been most meaningful is this new, more rock-solid feeling that divine Love is always there for me – and for all of us. And that if we’re struggling with feeling lonely or anything else, we really can take our problems to Him. “Cast all your anxiety on him,” the Bible says, “because he cares for you” (I Peter 5:7, New International Version). God really does care for each one of us, and Love won’t leave us without a satisfying solution.

Right now, lots of people the world over are grappling with feelings of isolation. And while we’re all looking forward to things returning to normal, it’s helpful to remember that the love and comfort we’re yearning to feel don’t originate with people. Yes, there are wonderful expressions of companionship – and over the last few weeks we’ve seen many of these in virtual concerts and dinner parties and in online worship services. But it’s cool to know that companionship isn’t limited to these or any other activities, because Love really does fill every bit of space and every one of our moments.

So even when you can’t go see friends, or no one’s at home with you, the joy and love that come from God are still there for you – and you can feel them.

Adapted from an article published in the Christian Science Sentinel’s online TeenConnect section, March 31, 2020.

Editor’s note: As a public service, all the Monitor’s coronavirus coverage is free, including articles from this column. There’s also a special free section of JSH-Online.com on a healing response to the coronavirus. There is no paywall for any of this coverage.

You've read  of  free articles. Subscribe to continue.
Real news can be honest, hopeful, credible, constructive.
What is the Monitor difference? Tackling the tough headlines – with humanity. Listening to sources – with respect. Seeing the story that others are missing by reporting what so often gets overlooked: the values that connect us. That’s Monitor reporting – news that changes how you see the world.
editor@csmonitor.com
Subscribe
Mark Sappenfield
Editor

Dear Reader,

About a year ago, I happened upon this statement about the Monitor in the Harvard Business Review – under the charming heading of “do things that don’t interest you”:

“Many things that end up” being meaningful, writes social scientist Joseph Grenny, “have come from conference workshops, articles, or online videos that began as a chore and ended with an insight. My work in Kenya, for example, was heavily influenced by a Christian Science Monitor article I had forced myself to read 10 years earlier. Sometimes, we call things ‘boring’ simply because they lie outside the box we are currently in.”

If you were to come up with a punchline to a joke about the Monitor, that would probably be it. We’re seen as being global, fair, insightful, and perhaps a bit too earnest. We’re the bran muffin of journalism.

But you know what? We change lives. And I’m going to argue that we change lives precisely because we force open that too-small box that most human beings think they live in.

The Monitor is a peculiar little publication that’s hard for the world to figure out. We’re run by a church, but we’re not only for church members and we’re not about converting people. We’re known as being fair even as the world becomes as polarized as at any time since the newspaper’s founding in 1908.

We have a mission beyond circulation, we want to bridge divides. We’re about kicking down the door of thought everywhere and saying, “You are bigger and more capable than you realize. And we can prove it.”

If you’re looking for bran muffin journalism, you can subscribe to the Monitor for $15. You’ll get the Monitor Weekly magazine, the Monitor Daily email, and unlimited access to CSMonitor.com.

Subscribe to insightful journalism

QR Code to What to do if you’re feeling lonely
Read this article in
https://www.csmonitor.com/Commentary/A-Christian-Science-Perspective/2020/0429/What-to-do-if-you-re-feeling-lonely
QR Code to Subscription page
Start your subscription today
https://www.csmonitor.com/subscribe