Harmonizing relationships
The perfect human relationship? For most of us the jury might be out on whether such a thing truly exists. But the concept of harmony and peace in relationships is something more familiar. We know when those qualities are there and when they aren’t.
Sometimes joy and affection can feel missing or distant. And what if we have worked long and hard at trying to find or restore harmony in a relationship, but nothing seems to change?
My study and practice of Christian Science has helped me see that it is indeed possible to experience more and more how natural and normal harmony is in all our dealings with others.
As much as we want to smooth out the rough edges of our relationships, genuine harmony includes so much more than simply getting along. When we understand that harmony is a gift to all of us from God, Spirit – and that God can give only good to us, His children – we see that the source of harmony is spiritual, not material. This means it is always available, permanent, and inseparable from our true spiritual identity – no matter what the material senses are telling us.
So, the harmony God has bestowed on all of us is not dependent on how our relationships are going. But it can always uplift and heal them.
In his Sermon on the Mount, Christ Jesus says, “Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God” (Matthew 5:9). Peace must and can be expressed by all. Actually, freedom from disturbance within and in our interactions with others is inherent in our identity as the offspring of God. And our efforts to understand and live this spiritual fact bless us and those around us, too.
I was only a few years into my study of Christian Science when I had a roommate that wouldn’t talk to me. After weeks of this, I felt really discouraged and wanted to give up on making an effort to connect with her.
But I didn’t, because just in those few years, Christian Science – anchored in the Bible, especially Jesus’ teachings – had brought so much healing to my life. I had been learning to pray to feel God’s caring presence and love for all of us. I still felt I had a lot of growing to do to grasp the teachings of Christian Science, but I wanted to put into practice what I did know.
So I began to pray about the situation. My prayer was very simple: to just love my roommate from the basis that God, divine Love itself, is the true source of love. I reasoned prayerfully that God created us both to love and be loved. This was where the harmony of our relationship was grounded, whether it looked that way or not. Then, with an open heart, I waited patiently with expectancy. But nothing changed.
Honestly, I didn’t know what else to do humanly. But I trusted that if there was something I could do to break the silence, God would show me what it was and how to do it. I found a sense of peace there.
Then an unexpected opportunity arose to ask my roommate, in a fresh way, why she wouldn’t talk to me. This led to her apologizing profusely. Of course I welcomed her apology, and that was the end of the problem. Our relationship became friendly.
As happy as I was for this outcome, I was most grateful for this proof of how tenderly Love cared for us both and our relationship.
Part of a hymn in the “Christian Science Hymnal” points to a wider promise we can all take to heart:
As stars in their courses never contend,
As blossoms their hues in harmony blend,
As bird voices mingle in joyful refrain,
So God’s loving children in concord remain.
(Irving C. Tomlinson, No. 236, © CSBD)
No effort to identify ourselves and others with our God-given harmony is in vain. Every relationship is within reach of Love’s infinite solutions.
