The love that lifts us out of self-hatred

“Love yourself” is a popular admonition. As I’ve thought about what it means to love oneself, I’ve gained a spiritual perspective by exploring this question about identity: What exactly am I loving as myself?

The view of ourselves as basically a physical body with a human personality arises from the belief that we are made both spiritual and material. This false self is susceptible to the extremes of either a crippling low self-esteem or an inflated ego. Christian Science explains that this false concept of man must, and can, be rejected. The reality is that we are each created entirely spiritual.

Jesus understood his spiritual identity as the Son of God and never lost sight of his true spiritual worth and purpose. The Science of Christianity is based on his example, and shows us how to see the spiritual value of ourselves and others as he did. Acknowledging and claiming our spiritual identity, and loving it, gives us confidence, joy, and humility. It enables us to progress in our understanding of God as our spiritual source, to strive for a full expression of our potential, and to resist entertaining dark thoughts of self-condemnation, self-doubt, and selfishness.

When I was a first-year college student, I struggled with an acute sense of self-hatred. I was not generally depressed, but I would have periods of such dark thoughts about myself that sometimes I couldn’t even leave the house in the morning. I was also clinging to some destructive relationships, and my living situation sometimes felt unsafe.

I had been occasionally attending Sunday School at the Church of Christ, Scientist, near my school, and I became more committed to it after a friend commented that I was always happier after church. One Sunday morning, my Sunday School teacher said to me, “You have to love yourself.” I don’t remember the context for that conversation, but that one statement stuck with me and shook me awake. I considered all I had learned in Sunday School about my identity as a child of God, created perfect in His, Her image and likeness.

The first chapter of Genesis in the Bible explains that God made man (all of us) in the image and likeness of Himself. Christian Science brings out the fact that because we are made in the likeness of God, who is Love and absolute good, everything that’s true about us is spiritual, good, and lovable. Our real identity is defined by the spiritual qualities that are found in God, whom we reflect – qualities such as love, intelligence, strength, and goodness.

I began to see the complete mistake of entertaining any thoughts of self-hatred, since I was truly a beloved daughter of my Father-Mother God. Because our true selfhood is created in the image of God, we are worthy of love.

The next time thoughts of self-condemnation tempted me, I was able to reject them right away and stick with my confidence in being divinely loved and worthy of love. I now had a clear spiritual understanding of my identity as a perfect reflection of God, and no depressing thoughts could shake this knowledge I had gained.

As a result, I experienced a more settled peace of mind, and my attendance and the quality of my work in the college courses I was taking improved, too. In the following months, I was also able to let go of those destructive relationships and find a safer living situation.

Mary Baker Eddy, the discoverer of Christian Science, writes, “Self-renunciation of all that constitutes a so-called material man, and the acknowledgment and achievement of his spiritual identity as the child of God, is Science that opens the very flood-gates of heaven; whence good flows into every avenue of being, cleansing mortals of all uncleanness, destroying all suffering, and demonstrating the true image and likeness” (“Miscellaneous Writings 1883-1896,” p. 185).

Unlimited divine Love is the source of our being. This love is totally devoid of selfishness, self-pity, self-condemnation, and self-will, and frees us to express the boundless joy and liberty of our divine inheritance as God’s children. All people are worthy of love, and also capable of love, no matter who they are. We are forever protected from suffering hateful or unloving thoughts about ourselves or anyone through this true sense of selfhood.

Adapted from an article published in the Feb. 3, 2020, issue of the Christian Science Sentinel.