A path to civility

The man was angry. He felt demeaned, self-righteous, and offended, and he was out for revenge. It looked like violence could break out. Yet, someone in the community was thinking calmly, wisely, humbly – and took a civil approach that defused the situation. Violence was averted and peace established.

This is the biblical story of David and Abigail, the wife of a wealthy property owner whose treatment of David’s men greatly angered David. When Abigail heard of the fraught goings-on, she hastily went to David – not with vulgarity, anger, or a hot temper, but with courtesy and humility. David, touched by Abigail’s wisdom and modesty, relented and thanked her for saving him from committing acts he would later regret (see I Samuel 25).

While this story played out around 3,000 years ago, it has a lot of relevance today. When tempers flare and self-righteousness blares, can we find a calm and civil way forward? Or are we doomed to be dominated by fear and anger?

Christian Science answers that there is always a path to cooperation and mutual respect. Humanity is not trapped in a cauldron of animosity and personal prejudices. Indeed, personal will or pride can easily lead us in the wrong direction, away from peace and goodwill. As Mary Baker Eddy, the discoverer of Christian Science, writes in “Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures,” “We cannot circumscribe happiness within the limits of personal sense” (p. 61).

Instead, we can consider that, as Christ Jesus proved, in reality we are all governed by the Principle of all existence – divine Love, God. Divine Love is the foundation of all creation. This Principle, Love, underpins the way we each – in our true nature as God’s spiritual offspring – interact with and relate to one another.

From this standpoint, we come to see that there is a higher way to think and act than through emotion or sensationalism. It’s the way of divine Principle and Love, and yielding to that Love rather than to anger fosters civility and cooperation. As Science and Health states, “For true happiness, man must harmonize with his Principle, divine Love ...” (p. 337).

Harmony defines the relation between ourselves and God, and ultimately between ourselves and others. Through prayer, we realize Principle, not personalities, is the basis of life. Then we naturally think and act in accordance with what we truly are as the spiritual reflection of divine Love – e.g., we outwardly express thoughtfulness, humility, integrity, and so on. We’re all innately capable of operating on this level of consciousness, which fosters respect and cooperation when interfacing with others.

I experienced this firsthand after my husband and I purchased a parcel of land in Arizona. There was a magnificent giant saguaro cactus close to the lot line. However, our neighbors’ landscapers had bulldozers working precariously close to this desert beauty.

My husband and I went over to our neighbors’ house, and as we talked with one of the neighbors we mentioned our concern about the cactus. It was a friendly conversation on both sides, but a few hours later we received a loud and obscene voicemail from the neighbor’s spouse. We were quite taken aback!

Though initially distressed and unsettled by this encounter, my husband and I affirmed that God, Principle, Love, was the only power truly in operation. We recognized that divine Principle was in charge, not personalities. There is neither place nor opportunity for anger or resentment in Love.

As we prayed with these ideas, the resentment and uneasiness that we’d been feeling lifted. Later that day, I phoned the neighbors and spoke with the spouse who had left the voicemail. It was a cordial interaction, and after we hung up the hostility never returned. (And the saguaro did just fine!)

Holding to the realm of divine Principle, not personality – knowing that Principle is Love and finds expression in civility and harmony – helps us contribute to peaceful solutions and goodwill in our lives and communities.