God parents us all

When I heard about the U.S. Surgeon General’s recent advisory on the stresses parents are facing, it piqued my interest (see Ali Martin, “Parent stress is a national health issue: Asking for help is a strong first step,” September 5, 2024). I found myself agreeing at first with the idea that being a parent can be a threat to one’s mental health and well-being; it can be a tough, thankless job!

And as the “papa” of three wonderful young children whom I dearly love, I do feel that there is a large gap between the experiences of parents and peers who don’t have children. Our personal lives are so different that I often feel misunderstood by non-parents. Maybe this kind of proclamation could help close that gap and lessen the external pressure put on parents.

But even if it did, do I really want to attach that label to myself: a father struggling with my mental health and well-being?

Both lifelong Christian Scientists, my wife and I pray about all aspects of life – especially parenting – as we navigate the balance of family life and our full-time jobs. A prayerful idea that we turn to time and time again is that God is our Parent, the one true Parent of us all.

We acknowledge our kids – and just as importantly, ourselves – as children of God. This has helped keep us free from feeling an overwhelming weight of responsibility on our shoulders.

This may prompt the questions: What does it mean to be a child of God? And what, or who, is God?

We need look no further than the first book of the Bible, Genesis, to read that “God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them” (1:27). But that statement was written a long time ago. Does it still apply to us today?

Absolutely it does! Mary Baker Eddy, the discoverer of Christian Science and founder of the Monitor, learned through studying the Bible that God is just as present today as ever. God, Spirit, is eternal, and changeless. God is all-powerful. And God is good – not a mix of good and bad; simply good throughout. Therefore we, made in God’s image, are also spiritual and good.

Understanding God more deeply this way is an immense help in finding the balance that parents often seem to lack. When we get caught up thinking that we’ve created our children, and that we’re eternally in charge of them, we have inadvertently misconstrued our role. And we find ourselves under a false sense of responsibility rather than joyfully expressing God’s parenting and celebrating our children’s growth, which allows us to experience more harmony in parenting as well as in our overall day-to-day lives.

How then might we shift our thought in this upward direction?

Christian Science teaches that a synonym for God is Mind, ever-present divine intelligence. By recognizing tumultuous or limiting thoughts as not legitimate, because they’re not from God, we become more receptive to messages from divine Mind.

In my experience, these messages often come in the form of intuition, or a spiritual idea that replaces an ungodlike concept that I’ve been holding on to.

Listening to these messages from God helps stop me from feeling as though I have to be in control of every detail of my children’s lives and behavior, or that I might make a big, regrettable mistake. It also guides me to right actions as a parent.

Looking to the Bible, we read from First John in the New King James Version, “Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God!” (3:1). We are all children of God. In our family we often remind each other that “God has no grandchildren!” Parents, children, and grandparents alike each have a direct child-Parent relationship to our Father-Mother God.

We explain to our children that we’re raising them as best as we know how, and that they need to learn to be kind, thoughtful, and obedient, but that we can also think of ourselves as brothers and sisters in Christ, the true idea of God. And as the Bible says, “All things work together for good to them that love God” (Romans 8:28).

This spiritual view of family presents parenthood not as a burden, but rather as a blessing!