Learning to walk together
Even something as simple as choosing a movie to watch with someone can require some give and take. And not all situations that require agreements are that simple. Many of us can probably recall experiences where concurrence was really hard and compromise seemed impossible. While different viewpoints can truly be enriching, at other times they seem to fuel friction or resentment that would keep harmony well hidden.
The Bible asks, “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” (Amos 3:3). To me this question hints at hope, not despair – because if we think of agreement not so much as everyone having the very same opinions, but rather from a spiritual perspective, this fosters productive interactions even when we don’t have the same opinions.
How can we find that secure and permanent basis that opens the way for greater coinciding and collaboration – for just agreeing to walk together?
When reaching an agreement with others appears difficult, one thing I have found helpful is reaching out to God – divine Love itself – to see more clearly that we all are inherently in “agreement” with Love’s divine nature. What I mean by this is, we can do this through prayer, by which we understand more deeply that God, Spirit, has created each of us in His own likeness – spiritual, good, and pure. This spiritual likeness of God constitutes our only real identity.
In this wholly divine, inseparable union, God freely and equally gives to everyone ideas and qualities that are entirely spiritual and good. Though expressed in individual ways, they forever represent the permanent substance of Spirit and Love that we include as God’s reflection.
Mary Baker Eddy, the discoverer of Christian Science, beautifully describes this unifying embrace of Love in this way: “... Love is the Principle of unity, the basis of all right thinking and acting; it fulfils the law. We see eye to eye and know as we are known, reciprocate kindness and work wisely, in proportion as we love” (“Miscellaneous Writings 1883-1896,” p. 117).
Because of our indissoluble unity with God, good, we are allied with God and with each other. Consenting to this powerful spiritual reality about our true identity enables us to more consistently express qualities like respect, consideration, unselfishness, and humility to one another when seeking agreement on some issue. Seeing and appreciating that such qualities are inherent in others, too, opens the way for genuine reciprocity that allows for walking together – even when viewpoints differ.
Years ago, I had an experience that urged me to deepen my sense of harmony and concord from this spiritual basis. I worked alongside someone that I felt in disagreement with all the time.
Over decades, I’d had many relationship issues resolved through prayer in Christian Science, and in my heart I knew there was an answer for this situation, too. So I prayed. Still, I mentally wrestled with our varying viewpoints for months. One day in tears, I called a Christian Science practitioner to pray with me to restore a spiritually accurate view of myself and this person.
Something the practitioner said immediately woke me up to cherishing my God-given spiritual individuality and nature, which only includes the blessedness of harmony and good. Although this situation might have been labeled a “personality conflict,” it was clear to me in that moment that there was no such thing as an “individuality conflict,” since our spiritual individuality – which is divine Love-given to everyone, including my coworker and me – is never less than Love’s reflection.
An overwhelming peace flooded my thought, and concern about working with this person and dealing with our differing viewpoints literally vanished. From that point on I genuinely regarded my coworker with respect and warmth, and I enjoyed working with them for the rest of our time as colleagues.
There may be many forward, backward, then forward again steps until we are consistently walking together. But even just a glimpse of our unity with God and the blessedness of divine good can brighten the road ahead, and is an open invitation to walk with others in peace.