A sampling of New Year’s resolutions

Sarah Palin
1. Invite a Moose – and a Rotarian – for lunch.
2. Have a moose for lunch.

Joe Biden
1. Ask Dick Cheney to move out of the guest bedroom.
2. Look into that school crossing guard job to fill my up afternoons.

Angelina Jolie
1. Adopt the Vienna Boys’ Choir
2. Get a larger size lipstick.

Dick Cheney
1. Learn the lyrics for “Kumbaya”
2. Tell Biden, “I’ll move out when I’m good and ready.”

Rudy Giuliani
1. Demand a recount.
2. Try to sell “drill, baby, drill” mantra to the Dental Association.

President-elect Obama
1. Get a dog that’s bigger than the Biden’s.
2. Learn more Don Ho songs.

President Bush
1. Allow only reporters with shoes that are Size 5 or smaller into press conferences.
2. Take the karaoke machine back to Texas.

• Chuck Cohen writes from Mill Valley, Calif.