Comedian and writer Andy Borowitz chose lines from some of America's sharpest wits.
From classic Barry column "Tips for Women: How to Have a Relationship with a Guy": "She lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn. Whereas when Roger gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he has never heard of."
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