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Comedian and writer Andy Borowitz chose lines from some of America's sharpest wits.
From Parker's "The Waltz," about a woman enduring a dance with a partner: "I should say I'm not tired.... I'm dead, that's all I am... And the music is never going to stop playing, and we're going to go on like this, Double-Time Charlie and I, throughout eternity. I suppose I won't care any more after the first hundred thousand years."
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