Comedian and writer Andy Borowitz chose lines from some of America's sharpest wits.
From Shepherd's "The Counterfeit Secret Circle Member" about a boyhood game: "It consisted of kicking a tin can or tin cans all the way home. This game is not to be confused with a more formal athletic contest called Kick The Can... this kicking game was a solitary, dogged contest of kid against can, and is quite possibly the very earliest manifestation of the Golf Syndrome."
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